Monday, November 2, 2009
Humm, Boys...Some Thoughts from my Journal on September 5
So since coming to Mongolia, I've been able to really think about a lot of things. One of the things I've been thinking about is why I'm here and this throws into perspective almost daily thoughts of both the rewards and sacrifices of doing something like the Peace Corps. One sacrifice of joining the Peace Cops, and even before this a result of moving around all the time, is the toll it takes on my relationships, both platonic and romantic. The former is important for sure but right now my attention has been drawn, by a certain dashing gentleman residing in America, to the latter. At a recent count, I could think of at least six potential romantic relationships that were bought to a grinding halt by my geographic undesirability. Really I can't remember a love or budding affection, serious or otherwise, that wasn't affected negatively by distance and my tendency towards a nomadic lifestyle over the past few years. But then again, I must remind myself that it is worth it. I willingly sacrifice these relationships so that I can go and see the world and live the life that I feel like I need to. Driven in hot pursuit of my personal and professional goals, I don't even vaguely feel the need to curb myself for the sake of a guy. But still, sometimes it's a sad and lonely choice to leave someone for the sake of your ideals, thoughts of what could have been sometimes creeps into the corners of my mind, even though I know the choice to chase my goals has always been the right one.